Going Out of My Mind

I don’t know what your mind is like, but mine is a “what if?” mind. It’s a “how about?” mind. It’s a “why don’t we” mind. It’s a “do” mind.

If yours is that way too, you know what I mean. It’s blessing and a curse. Right?

Attempting meditation (which I’ve done repeatedly) is probably where I’ve racked up the most failures in my life. Trying to eat less cheese might be second. Of course I’ll try them both again because failure doesn’t really bother me. It’s good for me. It’s good for you too, like the occasional nap.

So yeah, my mind is always whirring without an off switch or a cord I can unplug. That mind, combined with a need—not desire—need to make things, is what led the creation of XIZOZU™.

And we all know where that led. It led me to…here. I’ll admit, “here” can be a tad stressful. Stressful in a good, challenging, satisfying way – but stressful all the same. Between the design, the marketing, the accounting, customer engagement, inventory, production planning, shipping, there’s always something that’s not getting done as quickly as I’d like. I spend days in a steady state of being two clock ticks away from freaking out.

Then I sit down to actually make the medals and fulfill orders. And boom! The whole world goes silent, even though cello concertos are moaning out of the stereo. Everything outside of about a ten-foot radius of my workspace goes dark, like deep space, leaving me in my own twinkling galaxy where all I can see is jewelry and bravery. There I am, alone with the medals and the imagined lives of their future wearers.

It’s impossible to think about anything else when the pendant you’re making is for a woman who has overtaken her eating disorder, while another put herself back together after a shattering sexual assault, or another is sorrowfully estranged from her grandchildren. There’s the woman who built her own business after a devastating miscarriage, the woman who bought and paid for a home of her own. Another who thrives while living with mental illness.

It’s hard to think about anything except the strength, courage, and dedication of these irrepressible wonders. I muse, while having no specific thoughts at all, who are these incredible people? I think, with no specific thoughts at all, what an honor it is to play a minor note in their complicated concertos.

Those stresses I mentioned? They dissolve. All of my attention goes to and lingers with the others who were with me at the table. When I stand up it’s with a renewed sense of purpose, and a readiness to tackle some of those pesky administrative tasks or have another go at eating less cheese.



fabulous photo by Mike Wilson

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *